Sunday, September 17, 2006

Revision

My assignment sucks! I seem to have skipped the part where I like my work for a day or two, and have gone straight to thinking it's garbage. I didn't get as much work done as I wanted to this weekend, since I was away from home. I'll be spending this week on it though and will submit a revision. I guess I might as well upload what I have so far. I wanted it to be a surprise but I need to get as much feedback as possible.

The Vacation

The Vacation(Linux Friendly)

All comments and critiques are greatly appreciated! :D

2 comments:

Ruel said...

Hey wasup. My feedbacks are your not pushing your poses or exaggerations. I can see it more so in the last clip with the girl she could def be pushed more.
um some other stuff ive noticed are.. Around frame 59 when he is fanning her off the tail end of the fan (frame 59) his hand does a weird unatural jolt

- Around fram 110 when he says "Im on!!...vacation" Would be cool to see more emphasis in arm vibration that he is pissed!.

- umm.. exaggerate your pevlis weight more watch its arcs i think you could go more curvy with that arc when he his about to rush up ini her face.

- when the girl says "relax and take a vacation" both those jestures are extremely similar too similar i think

- After dude rushes up in front of her.. around 127 or make him breath heavy or something to that nature..

- His move from 76-84 not completely convince with that biz try to push it madam good lucks!

Jocelyn Cofer said...

Hey Ruel, thanks a bunch for the great crit! I have a question for you. How do you think I should push the counselor in the first shot? I just got my e-critique from my mentor and he said shot 2 was perfect. I really dont know how I could push it further. I mean she's sitting there writing, I'm not sure how I can make that more dynamic. o_O

On Leo, I had his angry pose around frame 86 more extreme than it was. I really bent his back and pushed those hips out there, but my mentor said to tone it down. :\ I'm not sure how I can push the counselor at the end of shot 1 without pushing her through the chair, lol.

I agree that both of the counselor's gesture are similar. My mentor said he liked the first one since it seemed like she was gesturing towards Leo's empty chair while telling him to relax. I'll see what I can come up with for the second gesture. I wanted it to seem like she's kinda presenting the idea of taking a vacation to him and reaching out to help at the same time. My first thought was to have her gesture with her hand on top of the clipboard in her lap. That wasn't reading clearly so I changed it to what I have now. If you have any ideas please let me know, lol.

I have Maya open now and aim to have an up-date posted before the end of today. Thanks again! :D